Can Exes Remain Friends?
"In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible. So unless the two of you were the best of friends before; both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup; both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and have both instilled a total honesty policy, better to leave the friendship behind... along with the memories..."
There’s a time in every relationship when couples have to say goodbye, (unless you’re planning to walk down the isle :) )You’ve shared the good and the bad then there comes the time where you have to put all that behind you and move on. But somewhere along the road of parting ways, couples feel the need to promise to stay friends
although it would be alot easier if break-ups were mutual, it never happens this way. there's always the “heart breaker” while the other mulls over the breakup and pain for quiet a while. it’s never easy to break up with someone you’ve shared good times with (even bad times, they’re still times)But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad person by offering that sense of truce: "It's not you, it's me. We'll still be friends, right?" This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren't such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex
even if we don't admit it, we do it to feel better about ourselves, and because we don't wanna miss those ones we are used to having in our lives.
with the pleasure of having coffee with a former mate every so often thinking they are friends, comes the ease of moving on with one's life (at least for the dumper),but can there really be a true friendship? or is it a danger that can hinder you from moving on from the relationship without you being aware of it?
is there always going to be resentment and anger from the "broken-hearted" ? why is it all or nothing?
i guess my question is, "can you move on and still maintain an honest true friendship with your ex?"
There’s a time in every relationship when couples have to say goodbye, (unless you’re planning to walk down the isle :) )You’ve shared the good and the bad then there comes the time where you have to put all that behind you and move on. But somewhere along the road of parting ways, couples feel the need to promise to stay friends
although it would be alot easier if break-ups were mutual, it never happens this way. there's always the “heart breaker” while the other mulls over the breakup and pain for quiet a while. it’s never easy to break up with someone you’ve shared good times with (even bad times, they’re still times)But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad person by offering that sense of truce: "It's not you, it's me. We'll still be friends, right?" This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren't such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex
even if we don't admit it, we do it to feel better about ourselves, and because we don't wanna miss those ones we are used to having in our lives.
with the pleasure of having coffee with a former mate every so often thinking they are friends, comes the ease of moving on with one's life (at least for the dumper),but can there really be a true friendship? or is it a danger that can hinder you from moving on from the relationship without you being aware of it?
is there always going to be resentment and anger from the "broken-hearted" ? why is it all or nothing?
i guess my question is, "can you move on and still maintain an honest true friendship with your ex?"
posted by BiteKitty @ 10:14 PM
4 Comments:
At 10:45 PM,
Christian said…
Interesting question, short answer is Yes you can.
Long answer is a bit trickier than that... It depends a lot on the 2 people in question, the circumstances of the breakup, and sometimes it needs a bit of time.
I'm not just speaking theoretically here, these are things I've learnt through multiple (not 1 or 2) broken up relationships that ended in me being very good friends with my ex. And I have been on both sides of the fence (both dumper and "dumpee").
At 2:24 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ya...I don't see why not, as long as both parties are completely over it, if either one still has any shred of feeling left for the other it will never work. Not to mention both parties have to be mature enough to handly the situation. The easiest thing is if they were friends to begin with and got together thinking that they had romantic feelings but it was really just physical attraction and friendship instead of true love. BTW they walk down the "aisle" not "isle" an "isle" is an island lol...sorry its 2am lol.
At 11:47 AM,
BiteKitty said…
LOL, anonymous, thanks for the "aisle, not isle" comment there. I read it more than one time but didn't notice the spelling error :)
I’m also pretty sure I know you, your writing style and "sense of humor" seems familiar lol, so would you be kind enough to let me know who you are, may be? :)
Also I don't think one can get over every relationship in their life. They might be able to move on or pretend to, but sometimes feelings remain, but you're still friends with them, you talk and laugh and pretend like there's nothing, it might be because you don't want to lose them and still want them to be a part of your life or for whatever other reason you might have...
I bet you do this! As well as everybody else...
At 11:53 AM,
BiteKitty said…
seem* not seems
just wanted to correct that :)
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